Why, yes; yes, I am.

Another thing… it appears I treat this blog more like a virtual confessional of sorts.  I remember the day when I blogged about some phenomenal artisans and did fun things like the Independent Artist Wish List Sweepstakes, Giveaways, Good Deeds for Charity, and occasionally showed off a ware or two made by my own hands.

Good grief!  Life does not end at Wifehood/Motherhood!

As a matter of fact, I’ve decided that life is so much better with a whole brood to share it with. My brood and I spent our two-week vacation in Chattanooga taking a trip down memory lane.  That involved road trips, lots of ice cream, skating rinks, water slides and blowing the budget.

*Oops*

Darn it!  Why did I lose my head?  Like it’s just going to be so easy for me to make money to put our budget back where it should be.  The days of my cute little self being able to serve up drinks to pay the rent while in college are LONG *chirping crickets* gone.  I will be serving it up fast food style if I don’t get my craft on.

You want fries with that?

So be looking for flowers from me… Lots and lots of flowers.  Fall will soon be upon us and then *shudder* winter.  I want to see blooms all year long… Happy Colorful Blooms.

Something has happened to the “me” I’ve known. Almost two years ago I married an amazing man (Mr. Yummy) and moved from Chattanooga, TN to Urbana, OH (Read: Corncob Central).  The first year I was here I went crazy and took everyone with me.  It was a rough year.  Actually, that is a gross understatement but I will spare you the details.

Determined to not have a repeat of year one, I shipped my daughter off for the summer to stay with my mom in Chattanooga while I worked on making things better for her return. (It almost killed me.) With Mr. Yummy firmly planted at my side (we follow that “united front” philosophy); we diligently tackled every issue and every naysayer. (I had to eat my share of humble pie and take responsibility for my stuff along the way, too.)  After the dust cleared, Mr. Yummy and I found that we were no longer just a team of two.  Our “united front” had grown.  Turns out that people just needed to get to know me better and I needed to be less of a bull in a China shop (as my mom would say).  It turned out to be an amazing summer. I saw firsthand God’s mercy and love at work. My daughter returned to find a life we both envisioned and we haven’t looked back.

Since then I have been simply enjoying my bliss.  I am truly happy.  I feel healthier than I have in my life.  (Well, I’m not necessarily talking physically – it seems married life over-agrees with me. Ha!)  I am completely content with my life just as it is which brings us back to the title of this post. I actually said that to my husband recently: “Honey, I am no longer career minded, how about another baby?”

I am content to the point that the drive to overachieve outside the home has left me.  It’s shocking. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I want to do. And I mean, NO IDEA.  Previously I was always driven by the necessity to make money (as a single mom) and not being content with working for “the man”.  So I started my own business hand-crafting jewelry. It afforded me to be able to work from home. Perfect.

I am no longer a single mom and Mr. Yummy earns enough to enable me to stay home with the kids. (We budget, live modestly, and it works.)  We both agree that my earning an extra income would be nice but my being able to stay home is more important. What to do? Well, have another baby of course. I mean, I’m going to be home anyway.

I kid.

I know if I am going to put an effort into anything, it has to be of a creative nature. I do love hand-crafting jewelry, but let’s be honest… jewelry artists are a dime a dozen.  As a matter of fact, I can think of a dozen artists’ wares right now that I would fork out Mr. Yummy’s hard earned cash to acquire.

Also, I need to do something MORE. It’s not enough to make jewelry. It’s never been enough.  I NEED to really feel my work serves a HIGHER purpose. And so that’s where I am today.  It’s a beginning, like a clean slate. It’s also a little scary. I know I have to get off my butt and do something. Right now I’m trying to re-enter the virtual world, catch up with long-lost (but not forgotten) friends, and maybe start trying to look beyond the amber waves of grain and corncobs.

Madeline. When the story first broke that little Maddie had passed, I quickly donated what I could to the March of Dimes. I needed to do something. Something about this inconceivable tragedy touched me so deeply that the need to connect with her was more than I have ever experienced.

Heather (Maddie’s mother) has recounted the days after Maddie’s passing. Her words tore at my heart. Then I watched her and her husband’s video tribute to Maddie:

The Tribute to Our Madeline from Mike and Heather on Vimeo.

I was weepy but when I saw the little close-ups of little Maddie’s toes, her eyelashes, I broke into sobs. I couldn’t regain my composure. When I did, the only thing I could do was walk into my Cara’s bedroom and hold her.

This morning I am still so very affected. I have unrest in my heart. I am not sure what that means exactly. I do not quite know what to do with these feelings. I do not even completely understand why I am so affected.

I speak of perspectives. That sometimes when I’m drowning in my own personally created sea of drama, all it takes is a healthy dose of perspective to snap me out of it. This is different though. Normally I am well practiced in the art of sticking my head in the sand. I hear of a heartbreaking story long enough to confirm it is terrible and then immediately divert my attention to anything that would allow me to continue living in my self-made personal bubble where I enjoy my rainbows and my pet unicorns.

There is something in the beautiful face of little Maddie that would not allow me to look away. I feel myself needing to understand, to connect with her story. Perhaps it’s those beautiful blue eyes of an old soul looking at me demanding that her short life, all her struggles, not be in vain. Her life purpose is being fulfilled each time she touches someone like me and she feels convicted to take notice and do something.

Won’t you take notice too? Read this family’s story: Heather and Mike. Allow yourself to be touched. Do what you can, even if it is just to simply spread the word. The point is we can all do something. What will you do?

Designed by Maddie’s mother and father in honor of their beautiful little girl, Maddie, you can purchase a “Maddie’s Monster” for $25. All proceeds to go to the March of Dimes. Their sweet little girl lives on through the people her passing continues to touch. Please let her touch you too. Purchase your “Maddie Monster” here: http://www.curlyqcuties.com/maddie