Let me preface this post by admitting that I have had four years to recognize my own role in the consequences of the choices I have made. I do not write this as a victim but as a woman strong in my understanding and at peace. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel my ex-husband was worthy of the fate I awarded him in “I dropped a house on my ex-husband“. I assure you he most certainly was and undoubtedly still is.

So what exactly does this have to do with my becoming a jewelry artist? Shortly after we wed, my husband lost his job and was forced to take a job 400 miles away from our family and friends. Once in our new home, my car suffered a breakdown that would have it in the garage for two years. Then, the long-distance was taken off our home phone. That is only the beginning but I will spare you the details. Just suffice it to say my living situation was terrifying and mean-spirited people suck.

I was becoming increasingly desperate. I would have taken money from my mother for a bus ride home if I could have called her to tell her I needed it. I believe he sensed that. That is when he got ’smarter’.

All of a sudden he became very interested in my beading hobby. He took it upon himself to take one of my creations to work and sell it for me. He encouraged me to really look into making it my career choice. I wanted to get a job and he didn’t want me to. This would allow both of us to have what we (he) wanted. He went so far as to purchase a computer for me, the supplies, the digital camera. He would take my pieces to work and sell them. I started feeling less desperate and a bit hopeful.

Please know I am an educated woman. I have accompanied my girlfriends when they have had to seek help in getting restraining orders against their husbands. I was a court stenographer for goodness sake. I heard more about these types of situations than any person should ever have to hear. I knew better. I knew…

I was scared. Fear is crippling. Add to that the demise of one’s soul when you are involved with a mean-spirited, abusive person and really, the person you are at that time is not even a shadow of your former self. Now, I don’t mean to go on and on about this. Already I have said much more than intended.

It was the week before my birthday and everyone was expecting us to come home to Chattanooga to celebrate my birthday. He did not want to go. I begged and pleaded but he would not budge. I had no vehicle, no money. I needed him to take me home. He said he had to work. I started asking if he would consider letting me rent a car just for the weekend. He gave it a lot of thought and said, “Yes.”

He said, “Yes.”

Although he made my life Hell for the rest of the week, I felt strong. On the Friday before my birthday, he took me to rent a car. I packed as much as I could without looking suspicious. If he questioned anything I packed, I just reminded him how much a two-year-old needs, even if just for one weekend. I buckled in my precious daughter and we drove to Chattanooga, where we have been ever since. Praise God.

Okay. There is one significant thing I forgot to tell you regarding my jewelry business. My loving husband never actually sold one single piece of my jewelry. Do you want to know how I know? He slipped. One afternoon he actually called me to ask me the price on a specific piece. I had no idea what he was talking about. I mean, he sold everything I gave him so what piece was he talking about? He said he took it off my table when I wasn’t looking. I asked him to describe it. He described the very first piece he claimed to have sold.

Apparently, while looking for something in his desk for a co-worker, he pulled out the box with the jewelry in it and she wanted to purchase it on the spot. I am serious. And then he was so taken aback that he didn’t think it through before he called me to ask me the price.

Immediately after that he began to try to drill it in my head how he couldn’t give my jewelry away, that he was forced to lie to me. Oh, really? I will admit, I wanted to give up at first. It was hard not to believe him. I just didn’t want him to be right. I was determined to make him wrong…

So, I arrived in Chattanooga and by the week’s end I had my jewelry in my first boutique. Again, Praise God.

If my ex-husband had not been so determined to keep us under his thumb, to have complete control of every aspect of our everyday lives, jewelry design would not have found me. I could not admit that at first because it was like giving the enemy power, so to speak. At least that is how it felt at the time.

Yet, with the passage of time and much healing, I have come to embrace that it is my talent, my drive, and my faith that has brought Coleena Bobeena this far. Also, I am much happier now than I ever was in my professional life previously.

Yes, this is the ultimate example of how a nasty trick can turn into a treat. Actually, it’s a double treat because it does not hurt one bit knowing he comes here to our little corner of the web and sees that we’re still here…stronger, more successful, healthier, and happier than ever.

Life is good and Karma Rocks!

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 at 10:43 am and is filed under This & That. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.